Life is a Prison
by Ayatori-dono
Summary: After Gin and Aizen leave, some people have trouble picking up the broken pieces of their hearts.Others cannot refuse to quit following. And as The snow begins to fall, it's time for Melancholy to wave its flag above our hearts once again.
1. Tainted by Torment

Ayatori (Annie) I find that I love Kira stories, but I haven't posted any of the ones that I've written, so heres one for all you Kira and Gin fans! XD I'm intending on making this a long story, but only if people like it enough for me to continue writing on it. This is also my first story on my Ayatori user, which is pretty much gonna be dedicated to stories about these two members of third company. If you don't like them then don't read, but I'm also putting characters like Momo and Renji in there too! Well enough of my rambling, I need a Beta if anyone is interested and here is the first chapter!:

**Story Title: **Tainted by torment

**Length: **2,628 words long so far

**Summary:  
Characters:** Izuru Kira, Gin Ichimaru, Momo Hinamori, Sosuke Aizen, Renji Abarai, Rangiku Matsumoto, Kenpachi Zaraki, Yachiru Kusajishi and Toshiro Hitsugaya

**Pairings: **Not sure yet, tell me what you want and I might put it in there.**  
Rating: **Right now its T, Pretty much for older teens, rated for Blood, violence, extreme angst over loads and just all that other stuff that I decide to throw in, rating is bound to go up later though. **  
Disclaimers: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH **cries in corner

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Porcelain hearts and Porcelain flakes**

The wind howled through the land, bringing a wave of frigid air to tear through the forest. The trees withered as their arms swayed widely in the breeze, their roots clinging to the dry soil beneath. The faint hint of stars in a sea of black could be seen above. Dark clouds hovered over head, blocking the luminous rays of the crescent moon. The ground was covered with a thick blanket of crystals, which sparkled like diamonds on the forest floor.

At a time like this, not many would be strolling the borders, not unless they had a death wish that was. The temperature was already far below comfort, and aided by the fierce wind turned this place into a hell of ice. Without the light of the moon, only the glow of the white earth could help lead a traveler to safety. Nevertheless, the snow was tainted and disturbed as a pair of weary feet trudged through it. His staggered breaths mixed with the howling of the winds, a silent cry for help unheard.

Every step hurt, making him wince and close his eyes before continuing on the strenuous journey. Each move was met with doubt and hesitation, the figure contemplating on the option of giving up. He found it hard to believe that they were waiting for him. Somehow something deep inside him was telling him not to continue, instead it beckoned him to turn and take the other path. Gazing upon the road before his quivering body, he hesitated making his way back to the Shinigami Headquarters.

He could only imagine being met with their faces, emotionless, cold and dead, as though they no longer felt anything for him. Maybe they were shunning him, tired of the way he continued to look to the past with regret and sadness. On the other hand, maybe it was his weakness that drove these spiteful feelings to surface. For whatever reason, Kira Izuru didn't want to go back. Half of it was because he was afraid. It had been nearly five hours since he'd run from it all. He'd shouted at them, cursed them and blamed them for his problems, and such a thing filled him with shame.

"Izuru what's wrong with you?" He'd heard Hinamori ask, and he tore away from her, ignoring her like the others. It was apparent that he had hurt them all and thus he couldn't face them. It wasn't as though he enjoyed being out here, staggering through the cold and the snow, but it was the only choice he had. Sure, his body was numb with cold, sure, he was tired and utterly lost, but all those things were less painful then walking through those walls. At least when you were out here in such a big world, alone and forlorn, you began to forgot the horrible memories. He'd been driven to this place because he could no longer endure such emotions.

The bitter mixture of grief and agony filled his life, tainting everything he once loved with the utter taste of melancholy. A muffled sigh leaving his lips, Kira let his exhausted body fall into the cold snow. The moment he hit the ground frigid waves shot up his spine, making him tremble, a whimper leaving his quivering lips. It didn't matter anymore though; he didn't have the strength to pull himself from this wretched prison.

He didn't want to save himself, he wanted someone to _save_ him. If he couldn't have the right to ask _someone else_ for help, then he might as well be dead. However, his methods were foolish, for who could possibly be walking these roads at night? He'd half expected to see Hinamori and Renji racing after him, but instead the wind whispering through the trees reminded him of how utterly alone he had become. As much as he silently prayed for their arrival, the soft snow around him remained untouched by the feet of others.

"Somebody?" He whimpered slightly, fighting back the urge to scream the words out before realizing that his dry throat would not allow it. The chill of the cold sunk to his bones, filling his body with a numb sensation that cut off all power to move. Moments like this made him wish he wasn't such a fool, to believe that he could come out here and see old friends again. It was the part of him that couldn't accept the news, that part had drug him out here and then left him to die.

For deep down inside, he didn't wanted to be that the one man he'd looked up to so much, had completely betrayed as though he was worth nothing. Gin Ichimaru was a wicked man to do so, but no body had ever said he was nice.

Nevertheless, Kira had lost the once glittering hint of light in his eyes, now all that was left was anxiety and misery. Now being a member of the Shinigami did not hold as much value to him as it once did. As hard as it might have been to explain, he loved following the orders of his captain. He loved the feeling of confidence and self-assurance he received when he completed a task. However, the word "assistant" Captain no longer thrilled.

Now he wished he could tear the name in two as he did his bleeding heart. Life held no meaning now, there was no one to seek solace or comfort from. Hinamori was always too happy to understand him and Renji had wanted no look on his personal life, thus it seemed like Gin was the only one that accepted his small conversations. Though it wasn't much, talking with someone as high-ranked as a captain was an exciting and enjoyable thing.

Now all that was gone, now he had no one to talk to and no one to listen. They were getting too tired of his rambling to understand that he desperately needed someone, anyone who cared. Lying here while feeling his own life slowly slipping away was giving him a solid grasp on how it felt to be austerely, unreservedly, alone. The small part of him that had once wanted to live had died in the last few months. Oh how those times had been agonizing.

He was assistant to a new captain, one he hardly even knew. Foods and drinks he had once devoured greedily now left the lingering taste of ash in his mouth. Even the sweet essence of sake, failed to take its desired effect anymore. Thus, he had slowly began to eat less and less, sick and tired of the dead taste in his mouth every time he rose the flagon to his lips. His eyes burned with weariness, for sleep had also been robbed of him. With such restless thoughts, all he could do was toss and turn instead of entering the ecstatic world of dreams.

His blood shot eyes traced the paths of the porcelain flakes as they fell to the ground in a cascading parade of white. The moon taunted and mocked him from it's place high in the sky, daring him to stagger to his feet. But alas, his knees were far to weak to support what little weight he carried. He'd come here wishing to find something, anything that would remind him that he was not alone, but instead he had found nothing. Slowly, he lifted his head, trying to cry for help.

"Ichi-" the weak voice faded, cut off by the rough feeling of pain.

His sad eyes stole one last look at the crescent shaped moon, tears turning them misty before his head sunk into the snow again. His body was overcome by the frigid waves before his eyes closed and blackness changed his world to shadows.

* * *

"IZURU?!" The name rang throughout the 3rd division headquarters, a girl disturbing the peace of the night as she stumbled through the shadowy hallways. Momo Hinamori's heart was aching as she dashed down the corridors, praying she would hear his voice. However, it seemed as though no matter how many times she screamed his name, he did not hear. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision as she called out again.

"IZURU?! IZURU PLEASE ANSWER!" There was nothing but the sound of her shouts droning slowly into the depths of the silence. Her lower lip trembled with fear as a new sense of dread crept up from behind. Hours earlier when he'd pushed her away, he hadn't headed in this direction. As much as she was trying to deny it, she knew he did not run to this place. He'd took off in the direction of the gates, which meant he wasn't anywhere near here, still she searched blindly.

Stealing a look out the frost covered-window, she trembled," Izuru?" The word fell dumbly from her lips. She knew he was out there, and if that was true, then he was probably freezing himself to death. Her body shook with sobs, her knees shaking beneath her, threatening to give way. Such reactions showed that this girl did not wish harm on her friend. Oh, how she regretted the words they had exchanged only mere hours ago. She'd wanted to consul him, save him from the hell of a world he was sinking into, but instead she had caused him more pain.

Silently she prayed he'd turned his back and headed in another direction, maybe he'd went to go talk to Renji or even Retsu, but such things were hard to believe. Kira had never been the type to storm away from someone then cry to someone else. Part of her wanted to go after him, but part of her was too afraid to put one foot into that snow. For already, she was cold walking on this wood, even with socks on her feet. It was impossible to imagine the chills she would receive if she opened the door leading to the outside world.

Suddenly she found her hands tightening into fists as a force gave her power, her body no longer shaking. She bit her lower lip so hard she could taste the blood underneath, but she ignored it. She tore down the hallway, running at top speed until she reached the fearful door that stood between her and the blizzard. Shaking aside any thoughts of doubt or regret, she seized the cold handle and threw the door open. The moment she did so, a blast of frigid air knocked her senseless, making her throw her arms in front of her face as if to shield it from the blows of the wind.

Without a moments hesitation she took the dive, her body trembling and shuddering as she hit the freezing ground. However, she did not let such trivial things stop her, instead of turning back like a coward she took off. Pulling her feet through the heavy snow, she could just barely make out a pair of tracks leading to the eastern gates. Her heart skipped a beat as she struggled to follow them. The strong winds stung her eyes like fire as her cheeks burned. She rubbed her hands together, doing her best to keep warm but failing miserably.

By the time she cleared the open gates, all feeling in her limbs was completely gone. The howl of the wind droned out her voice as she tried to scream Kira's name. A numb sensation swept through her body, and the air she drew in made a sharp pain arise in her chest. She hugged her arms out of a desperate attempt to keep warm. The faint path made by someone before her was becoming harder to see, aided by the slicing flakes of the blizzard. Hinamori found it hard to keep her eyes open as the path continued to get smaller and smaller, the tracks hardly noticeable. The route she was following was obviously old and at this rate she'd never find Kira. Though she doubted he wanted to be found in the first place, he had told her not to come after him and yet here she was.

"IZURU?!" She hollered above the roaring wind, her voice barely a whisper though it took a great deal of strength. Her face dropping with disappointment, she contemplated on if she should head back. Her body ached and she constantly found herself eying the shadows fearfully. This forest was not a place that she normally trudged, thus she had no idea were se was going. There was no spiritual pressure around her, just the lingering hiss of the wind.

Suddenly she felt her heart skip a beat, eyes growing wide as the crystal ground changed to crimson red. She looked onward, realizing that the tracks ended in a tapestry of red and white, one that Kira was not part of. The river of crimson dwindled on a few feet, painting the snow and mixing into a completely new set of tracks. The rancid stench filled her nostrils as she gaped at the scene.

"Izuru?" the name barely left her quivering lips as her eyes darted ahead, watching as the path disappeared beyond the dark horizon. It was obvious by the mass amount of blood that he had been hurt, by how and by whom? Then he'd been drug off somewhere? None of it made much sense. Bending down, the blood beneath her was still warm, though the luscious essence of life was quickly being tainted by the cold. The lingering sensation of a strong spiritual pressure clung to the crimson as though it was a parasite sucking the very life from it.

As much as she wanted to follow, Hinamori found that she couldn't. If someone had the power to shed so much blood than she feared them more than her greatest enemies. Her knees giving way, she fell to the ground in a sobbing heap. Her body shook with rough spasms as tear streamed down her cheeks.

"Izuru where have you gone?" She muttered through the heart-wrenching sobs.

Whoa! I actually wrote something, I know I'm so hopeless, but please feel free to tell me what you think. I have no idea about pairings but if enough people will it I will write it so leave a comment about that if you decide to review. If you are interested in being a Beta, I would be ever so thankful! Until next chapter!

Annie (Ayatori)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note: **I feel so guilty and bad for updating this when I should have been writing on so many other things since I feel like I owe it to people to try and work harder on my old stories. Just to let you know I am sorry that I waste my time on things like this!! D: Just read the chapter and tell me what you think. Oh and for the pairings! I believe I'm putting in some HinamoriHitsugaya with a tad bit of MatsumotoHitsugaya thrown in as a side dish XD Enjoy! I know that some of my timings and my scenarios are alittle off but I hope you read it and like it anyways! Feel free to tell me what you think since I live off reviews!

**----**

**Chapter Number: **2

**Chapter Length: **2,362 words long!

**Characters: **Hinamori Momo, Hitsugaya Toshiro, Rangiku Matsumoto, Ichimaru Gin, Kira Izuru, Aizen Sosuke.

**Pairings: **No romance action in this chapter sorry D:

**Warnings: **Mentions of violence! I DON'T HAVE A BETA SO THERE MIGHT BE MAYN GRAMMICAL AND SPELLING ERRORS!**  
Rating: **T

**Time it took to write: **Well I wrote the first 1,500 words about three weeks ago and then I just picked it up and finished the chapter because I felt so lame so done over a period of 4 to 3 weeks.

**Disclaimer: **I do not Own BLEACH! If I did Gin would have let Kira go with him to Hundo Muceo :P

**Dedicated to: **This Chapter is dedicated to my good friend Insanity Rise and also to a great Fanfiction writer named Ulat Bulu, she has inspired me to write things I could never even imagine until I read her fanfictions. The best of times to both of you!

**CHAPTER TWO**

**The Darkness of demise **

The clean tapestry of snow was disturbed by a pair of thin sandals, the looming silence killed by curses being whispered under one's breath. He staggered as he walked, clothes bearing the heavy stench of crimson. His silver hair clung to his sweat drenched face as he struggled to see through the blizzard tearing at him from all directions. Muttering yet another curse under his breath, he continued.

"Pretty cold eh?" He chuckled quietly to himself, enjoying the melancholy of these situations that he often found himself trapped in. Recently he'd found that trouble was drawn to him, always sticking its ugliness in his life. However, it didn't bother him much for he had never asked for the world to be kind. He'd never wanted a place were all he received was happiness on a platter. The malicious taint his life held was much more interesting than that of a normal being.

He drug a bloodied figure behind that of his own, having no trouble with the little bit of extra weight he had to carry. At the moment it was not fatigue that worried him, it was the fact that getting back to his desired destination was hard in such weather. Getting lost out here seemed so easy and already his body was against him. His head throbbed with pain as he walked. The sound of the snow crunching under his feet was the only thing that reminded him that he was still walking.

"Almost there Izuru," He spoke to the man as though he could hear his voice.

However, his words sunk into the silence, unheard by another's, as Kira's eyes remained closed. The man had expected that much though; for he'd had to land a quick blow, thus he had hit the Soul reaper rather hard. The wound wouldn't be fatal, but it wouldn't exactly be harmless either. Nevertheless, it was the only way. If he were to bring Izuru to Aizen, then it would be much easier if he did it without the blonde's knowing. Though Kira probably wouldn't have put up much of a fight, doing things the easier way was much more enjoyable.

He could only imagine how angry Aizen would be though. Surely, he would be furious when he saw the large wound creeping its way down Kira's right shoulder. So much blood shed had been necessary to cover up most of the tracks his own spiritual pressure might have left behind. Gin Ichimaru's staggered breath filled the frigid air around him as he forced his way up a small flight of stone steps. The concrete beneath him was covered in ugly cracks that threatened to break the very foundation into pieces. Around him were the same dark trees that grew in the deepest parts of this forest.

The flight of stair led further, disappearing at a huge wooden door. Decaying roots clinging to the sides of the foundation, holes patched in the roof only proved that this building was old. However, Gin couldn't help but smirk as he pulled his weight across the concrete and kicked the door open with his foot. A loud bang rung through the corridors as the door slammed into the side of the building before creaking freely on loose hinges.

Inside there was nothing but darkness, except for the inconstant candle light coming from pegs on the walls. The building reeked of dying plants and anything else that was mixed with the black substance that clung to the stone covered ground. Small porcelain drops fell from the many areas in the roof where wood no longer stood, giving a clear view of the midnight sky.

"Aizen-taichou?" Gin chirped into the silence, his voice lingering on into the hallway. Only the sound of his footsteps rang in his ears, his call unheard. Feeling abit annoyed by the lack of attention he was receiving, Gin quickened his pace. Caring another's weight along with your own was tiresome and aggravating when done for a long period of time. Though Gin did not easily express either of these things, he was finding such a thing difficult right now. He looked over his shoulder and only met defeat, seeing that Izuru's eyes were still closed.

"Ya stupid-" His voice was cut off by the sound of heavy shoes against the stones, his eyes searching the dark corridor in front of him. A malicious looking smile curled unto his lips as the man he'd been waiting for arrived.

A pair of dark glasses hid his eyes from sight, curly, chocolate-colored hair fell in tufts around his face and his clothes were wrinkled and dirty.

"What do you want?" He asked, his voice holding a hint of weariness, his face looking tired as though he hadn't slept in days. Gin; however, looked as lively as the assistant captain of 11th company. He stood in the hallway, smile as innocent as that of a child, a malicious and cruel child.

"What troubles have you brought me now Ichimaru?" Aizen groaned, his eyes falling to the bleeding figure that Gin had let drop to the floor. Obviously Izuru meant very little to the man.

"Just went to 'et a little somethin' to eep me enter'rianed," If it had been anyone other than Aizen, they might have shuddered at the sound of his voice. However; he looked rather angry, glaring at the man with frustrated eyes. They shifted to the trail of crimson that had lingered behind the Tall man. Raising an eyebrow, he let out a deep sigh.

"I already told you Ichimaru, we leave for Huedo Muceo in 4 days, you can't be dragging around wounded people and slowing us down!" Aizen had been waiting to arrive that place for so long now that hindering his path seemed heartless and unfair. Nevertheless, Gin hardly saw Izuru as a "hindrance".

"Ah Come on!" He laughed," the poor 'ittle guy was miserable wit out me!" Aizen glared at him with annoyance laced with jealousy. Since when did this man think he could go around getting what ever he wanted?! Hadn't he been taught better?!

"Hmm… Then we might as well make our guest welcome." He said that with uttermost sincerity while he gritted his teeth together. He wanted to kill the blond, beat him to a bloody pulp and make him wish he was dead! However, Ichimaru was in his way.

Hinamori stumbled through the closed doors of the tenth division, gasping loudly as she nearly collapsed with exhaustion. Her entire body was still shaking, partially from the cold and partially from the sight she had seen. How could that have happened to her friend?! Who could have done that?! Her body was raked with heavy spasms of pain as she sobbed. Her vision blurred as she tried to walk, forced to cling to the railing for balance. Crimson dripped to the floor with each step, but it wasn't her own. Her Breaths came out in short, rapid gasps for air. Her mind was plagued with images of the blood and the snow, the sickening pictures too powerful to forget.

She could not imagine what had happened or even how it had occurred; all she knew was that her friend was somewhere, dying of his own blood loss! She had do something! Had to run and get help, but her body was against her. While her mind screamed "run" her legs would not react to the command. Therefore, she stumbled forward like a newborn child, barely knowing how to walk on her own two feet. The weakness she was expressing made her want to cry out and curse at herself for each step was so hard. She felt as though she was on a boat with each wave pushing her this way and that.

Oh how she needed to reach Hitsugaya and Matsumoto! She craved for their comfort, needed her judgment and prayed for their help. Surely her childhood friend would know how this problem could be solved, surely he could rescue Kira from whatever fate had come upon him. These thoughts brought small amounts of comfort though deep down inside she knew there was nothing he could do.

The Cherry blond sat on her desk, legs crossed over the wooden top, arm's curled around her chest. She watched the quick movements of her taichou's steady hand across the paper. As the ink pen traced the paper, words began to form as he wrote quickly, hating this long work. He was tired of how the people up at first Division had decided to pour 3rd Division's paper work onto him! It wasn't his fault that their captain had betrayed them and he certainly didn't deserve this! They had been told that Soul Society was doing its best to make sure that all were healed from these incident, well this certainly was a strange way of healing! He groaned, his arm so tired he feared it would fall off at any moment!

The white haired man could have asked for a bit of help from his assistant captain, but he was almost done and besides, he wanted to make sure everything was done correctly. Sometimes her mind would go off now a days and she would end up scribbling ink all over her paper without even noticing it! Such mistakes would not look good when he turned those documents into the 1st Company. Thus he had begun doing most of the paperwork now and getting it done fairly late. He had never been good at paperwork but was patient enough to put up with it. He could sit here at his desk for hours and not whine or complain that Matsumoto might have done.

The night was peaceful and he enjoyed the cool air streaming in from the open window near his desk. Every once and awhile he would look up, see the falling snowflakes, and smile sincerely. He loved the tranquility that came with those falling flakes of ice. Such was why winter had always remained one of his favorite seasons. However, this pleasurable dreaming was up setted as the door to his office suddenly slammed open. He almost jumped, catching himself and darting his eyes in the direction of the door. What he saw in that doorway made his jaw drop. He saw Hinamori, her beautiful eyes laced with melancholy, her Shinigami rob wet with blood. She looked up at him with her tired, child-like eyes and cried out to him.

"Hitsugaya-taichou!" she called to the man, barely managing words through her sobs," something's wrong!" She was barely able to choke out everything about the blood and searching for Kira but she did manage to say enough for him to understand. Matsumoto flashed her captain a concerned look before going to the girl's aid.

"It's all right Hinamori," she told the younger girl in the most comforting voice she could think of," we'll get to the bottom of this but you have to take us to where you found the tracks…and the blood." Hinamori was so easy to damage that she had to be careful with her words, not wanting to hurt the girl anymore. Toshiro nodded his head in agreement before sighing hopelessly. What where they supposed to do and what where they dealing with? He didn't even know the full story for Hinamori's explanation had been so rushed and hard to understand.

He looked outside and grimaced. They would be going nowhere with a storm like that brewing for it would be too much of a hindrance. Besides, Hinamori didn't look as though she could go any farther anyway for the blood of her friend had shaken her too much. For once in his life, Hitsugaya was really beginning to hate this snow.

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Hope it didn't put you to sleep! Yeah this chapter has no action, but I got good ideas for the next one so stay on the edge of your seat and expect it real soon! Hope you liked this one! Review if you've got the time or even drop me a PM. Either way I'll be happy.

_**Spoiler for Chapter Three:**_

_What?! Not only is Soul Society against an effort to search out Kira Izuru but they have also announced him dead?! What's going on here?! What are Momo and Toshiro going to do about this? Especially when they become hot on Ichimaru's tracks? _

_Look for the next Chapter of "Life is a Prison" Real soon!!_


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